Setting Yourself Up For Success with Butt Stuff
Three main ingredients: patience, lube, and relaxation.
People tend to assume anal has to be painful. It certainly can be, but there are things you can do that could make it enjoyable.
Note my use of the word “could,” in that sentence. Some people simply do not like anal sex, or they may not like sex in general. That’s okay, too.
As for the rest of us, anal can be a lot of fun.
Step 1: Relax
Tension is not your friend here. I find anal is more pleasurable after a glass or three of wine, but you need not drink, if that isn’t something you take pleasure in. There’s no judgment here.
Alcohol can be relaxing, but if drinking isn’t for you, that’s fine. Think about what things make you feel calm and relax your muscles, then see if there’s a way to adapt it to prepping for anal.
A massage may be helpful. So might a tranquilizer, although those can cause anorgasmia (diminished ability to orgasm), so it’s a gamble. A long, hot bath is another idea you might incorporate. If you do take a bath, consider shaving around your asshole, if you grow hair there. Although people shouldn’t be pressured into removing body hair, it does make inserting things easier. I also just tend to feel unclean when I’m unshaven, but that’s just me.
You may be nervous the first time you experiment with anal play, but after you do it once or twice, you’ll likely get over any trepidation or fear you might have.
Step 2: Lube
I didn’t really know what lube (lubricant) was until my late 20’s. Spit will work (sort of), but you really need something like Astroglide.
I don’t need lube for vaginal stuff, but some people do, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But for anal, everybody needs something. What I did, before lube, was that I first got my pussy wet, fingered it for a while, and then used that wetness on my asshole. It worked well, but lube is somewhat better.
And there’s no such thing as too much lube. Don’t be wasteful, but at the same time, it’s better to err on the side of too much than not enough in this situation. Put a towel down if making a mess is a concern.
Step 3: Patience
Being too tense will get you every time, but rushing into it can be counterproductive as well. Getting in the mood will be very helpful, and foreplay can be a key factor in making that happen. At the very least, if you’re partnered, you should try making out for a while.
The first time, you (or your partner) may only be able to get part of one finger inside. That’s okay. It’s better to take your time than move too fast, risking painful microtears in the muscle of the anus or rectum. Speaking of, it’s a good idea to clip and clean your fingernails. Whether you plan on fingering someone in one hole or another, it’s easy to scrape them with your nails if you aren’t very, very careful. If there’s dirt or bacteria under your nails or on your fingers, you can cause an infection.
And on that note, anything that’s been in the ass needs to be cleaned before it can be used elsewhere in the body. You can get a UTI if you aren’t careful, and those are pretty annoying. Not usually serious, but quite annoying all the same. To reduce the risk of encountering poop, consider an enema. You can use a saline enema, but from personal experience, I know they can be pretty taxing. Another option is to use an enema bulb, which you then fill with warm water and use it to flush out your rectum.
I’ve written another article concerning this process, referred to as anal training:
