Anal Training: A Guide For Beginners
Anal might intrigue, disturb, or frighten you. If you clicked on this article, you probably are at least a little bit intrigued. It’s okay to have mixed feelings, but you don’t need to be scared. Anal sex as an experience can be overwhelming, and it can even be gross, but it need not be scary.
Lube Is Your BFF
Lube makes things slip-n-slide. Many people use it for vaginal sex, because not all vaginas get wet enough to make sex feel good for everyone involved, but it’s an absolute necessity for any kind of anal play. Your rectum does not possess any self-lubricating capability, so if you’re going to stick anything inside it, lubricant is going to be an essential tool for the job.
I personally use Astroglide, but any water-based lubricant will do. You want something water-based. Avoid petroleum-based products like Vaseline. If you’re using toys or condoms or both, silicone-based lube is not a good idea, because those are often made with silicone. Silicone lubricant will dissolve silicone toys and condoms on contact, so there are a lot of situations where it would just be not ideal.
Take Your Time
Don’t force anything. You probably won’t get more than a finger or two in on the first attempt, and that’s okay.
The tissues in the perineum region are sensitive and have a reasonably quick healing time. However, forcing too much, too fast can result in discomfort and even microtears, which are small rips that occur when the tissue is stretched too quickly.
You should also clip your fingernails and be sure that your hands are clean before making any attempt at fingering yourself (or anyone else). The sensitivity factor is a serious one, and you don’t want to have a finger with a jagged, dirty hangnail anywhere near this part of your anatomy for obvious reasons.
Get Relaxed (and Clean)
Simply put, if you’re nervous, you’ll tend to tense your muscles. Your anus and rectum are made of muscle, and if you’re nervous, you may find yourself clenching without meaning to. Take stock of your body and any tension you’re holding now, and make it a habit to do so, particularly during sexual activities.
Taking a bath (and shaving, if you’re so inclined) is a great way to wind down before (and during, and after) anal play. I recommend removing any hair in the area just because it makes getting toys in easier, but the important thing is to do what’s best for you. Having a glass or three of wine and a nice soak in the tub is generally my starting point, but again, do what works for you.
You should try to poop before anal play, too. Clean the area as best you can, especially if you expect someone’s mouth to be nearby. An enema may be wise, too. You can get a Fleet enema at any drugstore, but it can be a lot more comfortable to use an enema bulb, because Fleet enemas work with saline and can be quite harsh, depending on your sensitivity to such things. I tend to feel exhausted and dehydrated after one, and I’ve heard others say the same.
Toys, Boys, and Boytoys
Start with fingers, then move on to toys. Incorporate tongue, if your partner is down. It’s surprisingly pleasant for most people, regardless of anatomy or gender.
Go to your local sex shop, if possible, or go online. Get yourself a small butt plug. I recommend going to a brick-and-mortar place, just because you’ll have opportunity to ask questions and see what you’re buying before placing an order. It’s hard for some people, including me, to estimate sizes based on a number of inches or centimeters, particularly when we’re talking about circumference. But a toy is usually a good starting point for anal play, and I’d recommend trying a plug before putting someone’s dick in there.
There are many different options as far as size, shape, materials, and decoration. I personally own several plugs, but my favorite is a steel princess plug with a red jewel-type decoration on the end. I’ve also been dying to get a tail plug, which is of course a butt plug with a “tail” attached. I just think they’re cute.
Another fun option is an inflatable plug. If you’re working up to something particularly girthy, this is a good way to make progress toward it. I have one that works with a hand pump similar to a blood pressure cuff you’d find in a doctor’s office. I like that it has a quick release, meaning that if I should happen to inflate it a little too much, or if something comes up and I need to stop the scene quickly, a flick of my wrist is all it takes for this toy to be safely deflated and removed.
Safety is job one in any sexual situation. If you feel pain and don’t enjoy it, don’t continue trying to force something. If you have doubts or concerns, put a stop to the scene. Do your research and talk to your partner, if you have one.
Wrap-Up
I had been exploring anal stimulation on my own for years before I had any kind of sex with anyone, and so my first partnered anal experience went more smoothly than may be strictly typical. He was able to get it in with no problem at all.
People with no such experience will probably need to take things slow, but relaxation and comfort, along with lube, are really the keys to enjoying anal.
